Can I tell you something it took me way too many years to believe?
You do not have to finish becoming a better version of yourself before you’re allowed to be loved — by God, by the people around you, or by you. I used to think love was a prize waiting at the end of self-improvement. Lose the weight, fix the temper, get the house together, finally become the calm, patient mom I pictured in my head — and then, then I’d deserve to feel good about who I was.
Except that finish line kept moving. It always does. There’s always one more flaw to smooth over, one more mistake from last week still replaying in your head at midnight.
Here’s what I had to sit with: God didn’t wait for me to get it together before He called me His. He didn’t love the finished version of me. He loved me mid-mess, mid-mistake, mid-becoming — and He still does.
“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8
Not after we cleaned up. While. In the middle of it. That’s not permission to stay stuck — it’s the safety net that makes real growth possible in the first place. You can’t grow from a place of shame nearly as well as you can grow from a place of knowing you’re already held.
So if today you’re carrying around a mental list of everything about yourself that still needs fixing before you can rest easy in your own skin — friend, I want to gently set that list down for you. Not throw it away. Just set it down, for today. You are allowed to like yourself right now, unfinished. You are allowed to speak kindly to the woman in the mirror even though she’s still a work in progress. She always will be, and so will I.
Some days that self-love looks big and spiritual. Most days, honestly, it looks small — like actually resting instead of scrolling, saying no without over-explaining, or keeping a little something nearby that reminds you Who you belong to. I keep a set of open prayer hands on my nightstand for exactly that. Some nights I don’t even pray anything fancy over it — I just look at those open palms and remember I’m allowed to receive grace, not just hand it out to everyone else.
A little journal prompt for you
Grab your journal and finish this one honestly: “One thing I’ve been withholding love from myself over is … and I’m ready to set that down today because …”
A little affirmation to carry with you: I am worthy of love in progress, not just love perfected. God isn’t waiting on me, and I don’t have to wait on myself either.
Wherever you are in your becoming today — messy, tired, still figuring it out — you are already worth loving. Let today be the day you believe that a little more than you did yesterday.
With so much love,
Momma J 🤍
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