Personal Development

Let me just say it plainly: some seasons don’t feel like a storm. They feel like a collapse.

It’s not one thing. It’s the bill you can’t cover, and the phone call you didn’t want, and the person you love who’s struggling, and the body that’s tired, and the prayer you’ve prayed so many times you’re not even sure what words to use anymore. All of it, at once. And you’re standing there with the whole weight of it pressing down on your shoulders, wondering how in the world you’re supposed to keep standing.

And then one day you’re not standing. You’re sitting in the middle of the rubble, looking around at the mess, and you honestly don’t know where to start. Or if you even can.

If that’s where you are today, I’m not going to hand you a pretty quote and tell you to smile through it. I’ve been in that rubble. I know what it feels like when getting out of bed is the biggest thing you’ll do all day. So let’s just talk, real talk, about how you start digging out.

You were never meant to hold up the whole world

There’s an old picture we all carry around in our heads, that guy from the myths with the entire globe balanced on his back. And somewhere along the way a lot of us decided that’s what being strong looks like. Hold it all. Fix it all. Never let anybody see you buckle.

But that was never your assignment.

Jesus didn’t say, “Come to me once you’ve got it all handled.” He said:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

Heavy laden. That’s you right now. And notice He doesn’t scold you for being tired. He just opens His arms. If your shoulders are aching, it isn’t because you’re weak. It’s because you’ve been carrying things that were never yours to carry alone.

Even the builders said, “There’s too much rubble”

Can I show you one of my favorite little verses that nobody ever puts on a coffee mug?

When Nehemiah was leading God’s people to rebuild the broken walls of Jerusalem, there came a point where the workers just hit a wall of their own. They were worn out. And they said it out loud:

“The strength of the bearers of burdens is decayed, and there is much rubbish; so that we are not able to build the wall.”

Nehemiah 4:10

These were people doing God’s work, in God’s will, with God’s blessing. And they still looked around and said, we’re exhausted and there’s just too much mess.

That tells me two things. One, feeling buried doesn’t mean you’re out of God’s plan. And two, saying “I can’t do this” out loud isn’t a lack of faith. It’s honesty. And the wall still got built. Not in a day. Stone by stone, with people working side by side.

How to start pulling yourself out (one stone at a time)

Nobody clears a pile of rubble by staring at the whole pile. You’ll go under every time. So here’s what I want you to try instead.

1. Say it out loud

Name it. All of it. To God first, and to one safe person if you’ve got one. You don’t need fancy prayer words. “Lord, I’m drowning and I don’t know what to do” is a whole prayer. Things lose a little of their power over us once they stop living only in our heads at 2 a.m.

2. Pick up one stone today

Not ten. One. Make the phone call. Pay the one bill you can. Wash the dishes. Take a shower. Drink some water and eat something real. When everything feels impossible, small and doable is holy ground. Tomorrow you’ll pick up another one.

3. Set down what isn’t yours

Some of what’s crushing you is real responsibility. Some of it is other people’s choices, other people’s moods, other people’s messes you’ve been trying to hold together. Ask yourself honestly, is this mine to carry? If it’s not, hand it back to God. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee.” Cast means throw. Not hand it over politely and then grab it back.

4. Let somebody in

Nehemiah’s people didn’t rebuild alone. They worked shoulder to shoulder. I know it’s hard to let people see the mess. I know pride and shame like to whisper that you should handle this yourself. But you weren’t built to dig out alone. Text the friend. Call your sister. Tell your pastor. Talk to a counselor. Asking for help is not failing.

5. Hold onto one verse

When you can’t read three chapters, read one verse. Write it on a sticky note. Put it on your bathroom mirror. Here’s one to start with:

“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart.”

Psalm 34:18

Nigh. Close. Not up on the hill waiting for you to climb out. Right there in the rubble with you.

Pressed, but not crushed

Paul knew a thing or two about having the world come down on him. Shipwrecks, beatings, prison, people turning on him. And this is what he wrote:

“We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Cast down, but not destroyed. You might be on the ground right now. That’s real, and I’m not going to pretend it isn’t. But being knocked down is not the same as being finished.

The rubble isn’t the end of the story

Here’s something I’ve learned the hard way. God doesn’t always sweep the rubble away. Sometimes He builds with it. The broken pieces of the season that nearly took you out can become the foundation of something stronger, something you could never have built if everything had stayed standing.

Isaiah 61:3 says He gives “beauty for ashes.” Not beauty instead of going through it. Beauty for it. Out of it.

So you don’t have to know how this all turns out today. You don’t have to have a five-year plan or a testimony ready. You just have to lift one stone, and then rest, and then lift one more. And trust that the God who’s sitting there in the dust with you is already working on the wall.

You’re going to make it out of this. Maybe slowly. Maybe a little bruised. But you will.

If it’s darker than rubble right now, if you’re having thoughts of not wanting to be here, please don’t carry that alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 any time, day or night, to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Reaching out is strength, not weakness.

A little something for the rebuilding season

If the noise of everything falling apart has made it hard to hear God at all, Still, Small Voice walks you through learning to recognize His voice again, even in the middle of the mess.

And if you need something steady to hold onto, one day at a time, Grace Unfolding is my year-long Bible reading journal, built for real life and real struggle. Use code GRACE20 at checkout.

Come find me on Instagram at @mommajscozycottage. I’d love to pray for you.

With so much love,
Momma J 🤍